The whole thing somehow reminded me of another strange encounter I had whilst walking around with Walker about 2 years ago ... I told my good friend John Wendel about it in an email:
john
i must tell you about what happened when walker and i returned from walking the tracks this past sunday afternoon ... ahhh!
1st of all, it was nice yet surreal having a 12 year old kid walk the tracks instead of you ...
it was fun and cool and everything, but i kept feeling like i was ryan o neal's character in
"paper moon"! this feeling only increased later ... you'll find out why ...
we got about midway down the tracks and heard a train (i dont think you and i ever experienced
the train coming even ONCE all those times we walked em!) ... we had to run up a side hill...
funny how terrified he was ... the train past and a friendly negro conductor waved at us ...
we walked further and passed that oily slippery gross tar part and even saw that old black and white dog
by the house that used to bark at us every time ... this time it was very old and friendly ... we made it to the turn around point by the huge sloping kudzu-covered hill and sat down to "traditionally" throw rocks down into the creek below ...
on our way back, ANOTHER train came and nearly hit us, it appeared so fast! this time we had to literally jump
into the kudzu to avoid death ... right before we returned to my truck, we saw a deer just standing there
staring at us in the parking lot near the tracks ... i pointed out to walker and when i did, it darted away and into some woods near the road ...
as we approached my truck, i slowly started to realize that it was being blocked in my a large maroon truck ...
totally blocked in ... i was parked next to that strange little house in that lot by all the 18 wheelers, (where i have always parked) right in front of an RV that wasn't there the last time you and i walked the tracks...we rounded the corner and there in front of the RV sat an old kind looking redneck man ... he was short with a long hooked nose and a red plaid shirt ..."what are y'all doin?" he asked ... "oh we just
were walkin on the railroad tracks ..." i answered
the closer we got to my truck, the more irritated he seemed to get and his sentences became quicker and
blunt ..."you like to just park in folks' front yards all the time? well that there aint yer truck anymore ... it's on private property ... and you just gotta wait here till my son gets here to take care of ya" ...
clearly this man was not very kind
"sir, i didn't know it was private property" ... by now walker and i were standing on either side of my truck ... the fact that it must've looked like we were trying to make a 'quick get-away' (even though we could not) seemed to irritate the little man even more ... "well you must be FUCKIN BLIND" he said in a horrible tone, pointing to a NO TRESPASSING sign a short ways away ... he then restated unnecessarily that my truck was indeed no longer mine because it was on private property and his son was on his way so all we could do was wait ...
i suddenly began to miss my truck ... i wondered if they'd take good care of it ... there was nothing we could do now, except stand there and stare into the truck's bed ... walker was looking straight down, possibly on the verge of tears ... i couldn't tell ... and i was trying to imagine exactly how this man's son was going to 'take care of me' ... probably beat the shit out of me ...
as we stood there, the old man reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone ... for some reason this made me want to laugh, but i looked back down instead ... he began to speak:
"hey..." he said into the phone ... "yeah they here ... by the truck ... naw they said they didn't see it ... i told em they must be FUCKIN BLIND ... .... ... ... ... yeah ... ... .... ... okay ... ... love you ... bye" ... again i wan't to laugh ... this time, because of the "love you" ...
the old man slowly got up and sort of weeble-wobbled to the maroon truck and opened the passenger door ... really thought for a second that he might be getting a shotgun out to exterminate both of us and collect his 1996 white nissan truck prize ... however, he produced a small notepad and a pen and proceed to flip through
it ... he landed on a page with a looong list of names ...
"what is yer name?" he asked ... and i told him ... in a tone that assumed he was hard of hearing: "paaaaaaul wiiiiilm ...that's W - I - L - M ..." a few seconds flew by ... "paul ... what???" he asked... i repeated ... he then walked around to the driver's side of the truck ... "we've had a big problem with stealin around here ... anything comes up missin ..." he glared at me "i got yer name" ... relief swelled through me "i'm sorry sir ... i'll never do it again" ... "okay, well y'all can go..."
walker and i, once we were safe in my truck, were too dumbstruck for any immediate complaints or outbursts ... i simply turned the key and said in a shakey voice: "well ... all i have to say is ... RED ... NECK ..." ... walker nodded and stared ahead.
so phew!!! that would have been me and you if you'd have gone!
hope yer trip back was smooth...it was great being able to hang out with you again and go to the river etc
love
yer pal
paul
I have no words for this ... except maybe "astounding" (thanks, Tim Kerr!) :
A beautifully silly one by Los Massieras:
A grade A fancy classic by the B-52's:
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